6. Holding On
7. Shame
8. Unfolding (Instrumental)
9. Heavy as Lead
10. Already Won
11. It’s Up to You
Supposed to Do - H. Harrington
I know that this had to end
But every now and then
I wish that we could try again
I wish that we could try again
Remember when we laid in bed
And you held my hand
You said you wished this’d never end
You said you wished this’d never end
And I did what I was supposed to do
What I was supposed to do
But I’m still without you
But I’m still without you
And I told the truth
Like you asked me to
But I’m still without you
But I’m still without you
D’you know when I look in your eyes
I can see the sky
Both beauty and my own demise
Both beauty and my own demise
With each message that you didn’t send
Felt my heart crumbling
But my love for you could never bend
No my love for you could never bend
And I did what I was supposed to do
What I was supposed to do
But I’m still without you
Yeah I’m still without you
And I told the truth
Like you asked me to
But I’m still without you
But I’m still without you
Bad Intent - H. Harrington
Strange, isn’t it, how well we get along
We’re understood even when we’re wrong
Funny, isn’t it, how separate we must be
Hearts so close, but our bodies detached from reality
I want you now
No matter my bad intent
It happened quick, a revelation of a certain kind
This intensified beat inside your soul and mine
It’s overwhelming, you can feel it too
I’m not alone when I say I’m craving your truth
I want you now
No matter my bad intent
I need you now
But I know I can’t
And I know that you know
How good it could be
And I know that you know
How good it could be
I want you now
No matter my bad intent
I need you now
But I know I can’t
Run So Hard - H. Harrington
Yeah I run so hard, run so hard
Thought I’d chase the rain that plagued me from the start
Yeah I run so hard, run so hard
Down that dusty, dirty two-lane boulevard
And you thought you had me back in Kalamazoo
If I could take that train back yeah I know what I’d do
I’d run so hard, run so hard
In a million years I never thought it’d come this far
Run so hard, run so hard
I can see those eyes shining through the jailhouse bars
And you thought you had me back in Kalamazoo
If I could take that train back yeah I know what I’d do
Can you justify the taking of another life
Out here in the darkness it’s the only way you know to survive
Walked up to your room, walked up to your room
Saw the pale white face of the waning November moon
Said I’ll be back here soon, I’ll be back here soon
Before you see me coming you will hear that timeless tune
He Wants To - H. Harrington
It started one sided
On my side really
Infatuation’s like listening without fully hearing
So I picked what I wanted
Ignored all the rest
Why fuss over flaws when you can hide behind jest
But it’s all worn thin, I’m tired of it now
And I’m thinking of him less when he’s not a around
He wants to make believe
That I would never leave
The tables have turned
As one might say
But I gotta ask if he ever even liked me anyway
He can call me cold hearted
I’ve been there before
But being around him’s turned into a chore
He’s a good, good man and I’m a wretched old girl
He could do so much better in this beautiful world
He wants to make believe
That I would never leave
He, yeah he wants to, wants to make, make believe
He, yeah he wants to, wants to make, make believe
He wants to make believe
That I would never leave
He wants to make believe
That I would never leave
Bittersweet Love - H. Harrington
Slowly I emerge
With cloudy eyes
Like breaking the surface
Where the ocean meets the sky
I saw him clear
As the moon at night
But only an outline remains
In the morning light
It’s as though your face
Sinks deep within
Leaving my heart heavy
And aching for you, my friend
Oh, how beautiful that ache
Descending on me from above
Like a ripe fruit my heart
Drips with bittersweet love
Drips with bittersweet love
My head is filled
With the softest words
I want to sing you
The prettiest song you’ve ever heard
But I’m helpless my dear
There’s little to do
But use these simple words
I miss you
It’s as though your face
Sinks deep within
Leaving my heart heavy
And aching for you, my friend
Oh, how beautiful that ache
Descending on me from above
Like a ripe fruit my heart
Drips with bittersweet love
Drips with bittersweet love
Holding On - H. Harrington
It’s been a long, long time since I walked this way
And my mind it ain’t worked since yesterday
But I can’t get him out of my head
I can see him standing there all alone
With his dark hair, light eyes and man he’s grown
On me, he’s grown on me
And my heart slides down to the soles of my shoes
Each step pumps a beat of these terrible blues
Cuz he’s gone, he’s gone
For some goddamn reason, I just gotta keep holding on
He stood next to me as I watched them play
Some band that claimed they came from East LA
And he laughed as the lights came on
I remember his hands as they reached for me
They swallowed up my fingers to easily
And he led me through the crowd
And my heart slides down to the soles of my shoes
Each step pumps a beat of these terrible blues
Cuz he’s gone, he’s gone
For some goddamn reason, I just gotta keep holding on
After all we’ve said and after all we’ve done
I’m sitting here wishing that the rain don’t come
And wash it all away
Because the trees they bend and the sea it flows
But I’d wait a thousand years if you please don’t go
Away, don’t go away
Yea, my heart slides down to the soles of my shoes
Each step pumps a beat of these terrible blues
But he’s gone, he’s gone
For some goddamn reason, I just gotta keep holding on
Yea, for some goddamn reason, I just gotta keep holding on
Shame - H. Harrington
A small incision made on the surface of my consciousness
Allowed a leak of some toxic poison I can’t resist and
It settles deep inside my bones I can’t get rid of it and
It works its way out through my mouth I try to swallow it and
Shame is a feeling I’m not very unfamiliar with
It drapes itself across me more than I’d like to admit and
It’s hard to see when it throws shade on my accomplishments
When will I, oh when will I grow out of it
Down this slope I slip and struggle to control myself
I feel the weight of it, yeah I’m worrying about my health and
Nothing seems to matter all those feelings that I felt and
Like ice my sense of purpose it all seems to melt and
Shame is a feeling I’m not very unfamiliar with
It drapes itself across me more than I’d like to admit and
It’s hard to see when it throws shade on my accomplishments
When will I, oh when will I grow out of it
My foot has taken up permanent residence inside my mouth
All I know about myself is now called into doubt and
I can’t even feel comfortable inside my own house and
Apparently good judgment is something I can live without
Shame is a feeling I’m not very unfamiliar with
It drapes itself across me more than I’d like to admit and
It’s hard to see when it throws shade on my accomplishments
When will I, oh when will I grow out of it
Unfolding (Instrumental) - D. Crowley
Heavy as Lead - H. Harrington
He left with my mind last week,
Reached right in and took it to keep
And he turned on his heel before looking at me
And said “babe no it’s too late to weep”
Now this gap in my head it keeps growing
All this shelter can’t keep me from knowing
That those words were true that he told me
No, there’s nothing more unfolding
And it’s gone from my heart, like my mind from my head
And I could say a lot but I think it’s all said
You never saw me the way that I am and as I sit here I feel
Heavy as lead
I remember that summer I knew you
Everyday I got closer and we knew
That I’d fallen in love with a version of you
That had grown from a vision I’d had back at school
Yeah and Levon filled my ears that day
Crying out that the poor farmer had died in a way
So noble and true to return to the land
I could feel the warmth in the palm of my hand
And it’s gone from my heart, like my mind from my head
And I could say a lot but I think it’s all said
You never saw me the way that I am and as I sit here I feel
Heavy as lead
Standing on the shoulders of giants of old
Makes this a trying balancing act
And I can’t hold myself up now I’m tumbling, trying to be bold
And I gotta pick myself up at the place that I have rolled
Loving you never really seemed to me
To be anything other than the opposite of apathy
And now as I watch you leaving me with my mind in tow
I just can’t let it be
And it’s gone from my heart, like my mind from my head
And I could say a lot but I think it’s all said
You never saw me the way that I am and as I sit here I feel
Heavy as lead
Already Won - H. Harrington
As a fiery red sun sets, we brush our fingers through the grass
What once was dewey now is dry, now the day has come and passed
“It’s peaceful here” you whisper, through the growing chirp of crickets
As I nod in acquiescence, the brittle grass makes me fidget
I gave you all I could allow
You’re draining all of my willpower
I’m gonna leave you now
I think back to older days and a strain burns through my heart
It seems to be a lifetime ago, but still has power to tear me apart
So silently I beg of you, to understand what’s been done
But I grip your hand as I realize, this war is already won
I gave you all I could allow
You’re draining all of my willpower
I’m gonna leave you now
I gave you all I could allow
You’re draining all of my willpower
I’m gonna leave you now
It's Up to You - H. Harrington
It’s up to you, I hate that phrase
it’s lazy and a crutch you’ve used these days
It’s up you to figure out the place
Where we’ll eat dinner and talk face to face
It’s up to you to pick what we hear
You haven’t cared about music in a year
It’s up to you where we walk to now
If you could I know you’d walk right out of town
It’s up to you to pick the movie we see
You sit so close but feel so far away from me
It’s up to you to pick our bed’s quilt
The blanket to cover this home that we’ve built
And it’s up to you to decide when we go
It’s been four long years and there’s not much to show
Now I know it’s up to me to make a new start
To pick myself up and brush off the pieces of my very own, my very broken heart